Those First Few Weeks

Fumbling, unsure, confidence waning, these first few weeks of feeding Baby have been trying on my body, my mind, and my soul. 

They said you’d be hungry but no one told me how ravenous you would be. Your marble sized belly holds more than I thought. You want to eat upon waking, upon going to bed, and every hour in between. 

My nipples are sore, my breasts are sore and I’m the only one who can provide. Your cries of hungry make my breasts ache, filling up with milk. Sometimes I cringe thinking about having to feed you again. Sit straight, feet on stool, pillow under you, behind my back, under my arms, I can’t focus on it all. 

My tears flow with my milk. Dropping on your tiny head as I sit, exhausted and spent, and feeding my baby. 💜

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Those first few weeks of establishing breastfeeding are some of the most physically and emotionally trying weeks. Remember that you are two people that have never worked together before to achieve this goal. There are moving parts and tiny mouths. Remember that it is ok to stop, take a moment, and reset. There is ALWAYS time to reset, breathe, try again. There is NEVER failure, only progress. Learning what isn’t working allows you to move forward with the next idea, the next position, the next attempt. 💪🏼 This photo was taken when Cubby was 20 days old. I could not have been more exhausted and at times, sick of having to feed him. My breasts are engorged, there are bags under my eyes, and I was so frustrated because this shirt was definitely not breastfeeding friendly but I really wanted to wear it and feel like myself again. It wasn’t long after this that breastfeeding became something that WAS me. It may take some time, some tears and deep breathing but you’ve got support, you’ve got resources, and you are never alone.