Hearing the News - a Partner's Perspective
The following was written by my wonderful husband who is gladly filling in for me today. I asked him to write about how he felt when he learned I was pregnant!
On September 3rd of this year I had a day off from work. After an average day catching up on errands I was looking forward to some time with Lauren. We had planned on going to a local craft fair, a scene that was out of our normal routine. "I think I'm pregnant." is about what I remember hearing my lovely wife say to me as we were getting ready go out the door. I decided not to take it as fact: my first thought was "That is AMAZING." Then my logic/fact reviewing side kicked in and I said to my self "Let's wait and take a second and third test before we pop a bottle of champaign or Martinelli's apple cider!". While processing this internally and freaking out about not having my finances in order... at all... I had unintentionally given no signals to my wife as to how I felt about this news. Honestly I didn't know how I felt yet! Luckily we communicate very well and we talked it out. All evening long and every single day since we confirmed the pregnancy.
Although in the moment I was stunned, feeling started to come back throughout the evening and I chose to listen to the 15 plus years of experience Lauren has had raising other people's kids. Over the past few months I've stayed tuned into her wisdom. The more I learn the more excited I get about meeting our child. Whenever I feel like I don't make enough money or I don't have enough life experience or education - insert untethered fear of the day here - I try to remember that people have been doing this whole "raising children successfully" thing with much fewer resources and support than we have today. I focus on what I'm grateful for and what I want to teach this new life.
Baby changes everything, so I've been told. The truth is I knew nothing about children and so all my fears were based in the unknown. I thought I would have to give up my exercising, my dreams of acting, essentially my life as I knew it. In some ways I do have to adapt but I know now that it is short sighted to think that my life stops now. My responsibilities have certainly shifted significantly but I still get to be me. Today I'm mentally ready for this adventure and willing to do anything to support and protect my wife and child.
What was your partner's first reaction and circumstances around the news? How do they deal with the ups and downs in planning for this new life?